family in New York over the Christmas holidays. We had a good time catching up with family and friends. We shoveled an enormous amount of snow on Monday. We showed the kids a good time in NY. And the list goes on.
What was interesting was how a different environment can make you more aware of how we change as individuals. I was at a party where I ran into a few old acquaintances that I had not seen in four or five years. It was eye popping to see either how much I had changed or how much they had changed. After pleasantries were exchanged, I noticed our conversations kept coming back to what fancy schools their kids went to or how many househelpers ( nannies,
drivers etc) they had, or how many bedrooms their Manhattan apartments had. I don't begrudge anyone those niceties. Our kids go to a private school and I do believe in spending for the best when there is a clear benefit. What was interesting was when we discussed who was truly happy, one wanted to spend more time with her kids and the other was nearing some form of low grade burnout from her job. The sad thing was that neither of them seemed truly content in spite of having many of the finer things life has to offer.
For a long time I thought that these types of things as well as fancy cars and
houses were the markers of success that I stove for. Over the last few years, Z and I have undergone a total simplification of life. Starting with her retirement from a busy OB/GYN practice back in 2005 to become fulltime mom, followed by my intentional deceleration of work in 2009, we have learned to live with less. I am lucky that I am in a job where it is very easy to work less. The obvious consequence is that I make less money! On the surface, one might ask why we electively gave that stuff up. The answer lies in what we got in return.
Time
Time to breath, time to spend with our kids, time to spend with each other, time to pursue our hobbies. Time to experience or live life. There are plenty of smart people out there, but to my knowledge no one has figured out how to let us go back in time and relive our lives. Whether it's a 100 mile run in the mountains, game night with the kids, or lunch with Z, enjoying the daily
experience of life is the number one priority to me. And guess what? I am happier than I have ever been and don't miss the material crap at all!
So to answer the question in this blog title, I am chasing time, experience and freedom in life to pursue what I value. For me thats my family and being outside pursuing endurance sports. A luxury car, the latest electronics, and fancy clothes all lose their luster over time. Memories of experience are priceless and never become tarnished. On my deathbed, if I am able to say that I was a true family man, that I was out in nature everyday, and that I inspired others to live life, what material possessions I have will be irrelevant.
Make sure you can live with what you are chasing, just in case you catch it one
day.
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